I would love to state that my children seem to have recovered from the nanny quitting and dropping out of our lives so suddenly last December but I can't. I was really angry and upset at first because I was extremely worried for Makena's mental state and I was equally distraught because of the close relationship that she had with Jack and how tearful he was when he realized that she wasn't coming back. Although we never really talked about it with him, I suspect that he had a crush on her. She could do or say no wrong, she played video games with him, he could sweet-talk her into making him Ramen noodles or buy him a cheeseburger after school (even though I had repeatedly told her not to.) She was cute, she was young and she would listen to him talk endlessly about Naruto or watch a million "Zack and Cody" episodes on the Disney channel with him. It broke my heart to see him so upset.
After spending the month of January interviewing potential candidates, we finally hired a very sweet (and seemingly stable) woman who has two children exactly the same age as mine, only in reverse. Her daughter is nine and her son is two. What I rapidly realized shortly after Mo started working for us, was how bad we had it before she came into our lives. I came to the conclusion that I had been an emotional hostage to the whims and petulance of ex-nanny because I lived in fear of the psychological consequences her departure might reek on my children. I put Mak in pre-school far ahead of schedule when the Ex changed her schedule on me suddenly and Makena did not like that at all. (Please remember that I had a truck demolish a third of my home and we have been in remodelling/reconstruction hell for the last seven months.)
I really thought that Makena would get over it and accept the new schooling environment. I figured that she would learn more vocabulary and play in peaceful coexistence with the other children. She did not. She pretty much stopped sleeping through the night, started biting one or sometimes two children a day when she was there, and fell far behind the other children in conversation. Her emotional outbursts increased. Her anger increased and her eye-contact decreased (usually when being disciplined for attacking me or Jack). So my fears were completely justified and I am now attempting to pull myself out of this emotional quagmire (and finish the remodeling of the house so that we can move back in at the end of the month) and save my family!
In an attempt to stop feeling discouraged, distressed and incompetent, I pulled Makena out of pre-school and decided to keep her at home for the next year. She has been out for a month now and her vocabulary is blooming. She sings and dances and walks around with a tiara on her head most of the day (Girlyfication, courtesy of new nanny) . I am hoping that her growing communication skills will ease her frustrations and minimize her tantrums as I continue to spend half the night in her room holding her so that she can sleep. I have been told that she will grow out of this so I am cautiously optimistic.
In the meantime, I was turned onto a book that explains things in ways I never understood them before and is which helpful to parents of children who have suffered some form of trauma (abandonment, divorce, abuse, accidents, etc.) and it covers infancy through adolescence. It is called: "Trauma through the eyes of a child" by Peter A. Levine and Maggie Kline. I'm not big on self-help books but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Jack is bouncing back. Baseball season is in full swing so Mo and I are busy chauffeuring him to his games and practices (on top of tennis, karate, and playdates). Although more guarded, he is trying to find ways to cajole and manipulate Mo to his advantage (so far, she is holding strong and Jack has lost a couple of pounds!) And, yes, I know he is over-scheduled.
Makena has had a few one-on-one playdates in an effort to socialize her and so far her guests have come through unscathed. Our next big hurdle comes next week with the move back into our house. More change for Makena. More emotional turbulence ahead.
So I'll buckle my seat belt and I'll hope for a smooth landing...
Isabelle
Makena had a playdate with three of her China cousins last week. Seated left to right are, Makena, Emily, Li En and Charlotte. 
Emily and Charlotte were the first to leave so Makena and Li En had the park to themselves. I don't know if the girls remember their adventure at the Long Beach aquarium last year but regardless, they amused each other and had a grand old (exhausting) time. 
The plan is to attempt another playdate six weeks from now because that seems to be a goal that we can probably plan for and keep.
