Wo lian ni

(The first Valentine artwork from Makena)

We reintroduced Makena to Mandarin a month ago when she began taking classes with a Chinese tutor who is originally from Chongqing. This woman apparently has a waiting list of students wanting to be taught by her who come from all over the Los Angeles area (as well as adjoining cities) to learn Mandarin from her. We showed up for our first lesson only to find out that we were auditioning for her. She needed to know that Makena would actually sit still long enough to be taught and that she would actually make progress and learn.

She decided to try her out for a month and see if she was a good candidate. She started off by only talking to her in Chinese for the first few minutes and it was fascinating to watch Makena listen as if she was almost entranced. Makena is usually a bit standoffish when she meets new people but not with her tutor. Well, I can happily declare that we made it (so far) through four weekly classes and that she has invited us to continue. Makena can almost count to ten in Mandarin and is learning the words to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." I am learning along with her and some of it is actually sticking. I practice with her wherever and whenever and I feel that the new vocalization she is having to learn to speak Mandarin has helped improve her English diction.
We stopped by a yummy bakery after class to buy Jack and his friends some cupcakes on the day before Valentines and we couldn't leave without sampling one.

Wo lian Makena
Wo lian Jack
Wo lian baba


Is-a learning Mandarin
PS I love you

Preschool

In 2007, when the truck fell into our house, I was forced to put Makena into day care/preschool to have some time to focus on the reconstruction. This did not go well for her at all. She was aggressive and territorial and bit or clobbered any child that threatened her space. She was also going through the added disruption of having moved to temporary lodging with her stressed-out parents and this just meant too many changes and little stability for her. Compounding her frustrations were her speech delay and her nanny leaving us without any notice. Ugh.

It was so hard for me to see her struggle to claim some control over her life that I pulled her from preschool after two months and decided to keep her home with me through the construction. I knew in my gut that I wouldn't even try to put her in a school for another year, until after her third birthday. What I should have done in hindsight, is put her name on a preschool waiting list so that I could re-enroll her locally when that time came.

Since I happen to live in a small chichi surfing town, I blew it. All the preschools that appealed to me had a waiting list of a year to a year and a half when I went looking for one last December. I was stunned. And since all my friends have children enrolling in middle schools this year, I didn't know anyone who could help me get her in locally. Pathetic.

Just when I thought that I might have to (gulp) homeschool Makena, a mom whose daughter had attended the first preschool Makena had, called me for a playdate. Her daughter, a year later, still talked about Makena. She wanted to know if I would arrange a play date for our daughters to reconnect. I was thrilled. A little nervous for her daughter but thrilled none the less. The girls hit it off right away and found that dressing up as princesses was something they could do together so the reunion was a success.


Better yet, this woman proved to be a source of valuable information. She introduced me to an occupational therapist and to the preschool Makena now attends. She dropped out of the sky like an angel for me.

I had Makena evaluated and the OT explained that Makena was a high-toned, visual learner, which meant that she was ahead of the curb with regard to her physical abilities (I knew that.) and that she learned by watching more than by being told. (I didn't know that.) She gave me some exercises to do with her, told me to be Makena's interpreter when it came to her interaction with other children and told me to schedule more play dates and to keep them very short so that they would be successful and leave her wanting more of them. We did that for about six weeks until it was deemed that Makena would be ready to interact with a larger number of children in a school setting.

I enrolled Makena in the preschool that this woman ran, on the spot. I was number one on the waiting list (as opposed to number fifty-six) and although this preschool isn't even in our city, I believe that the half-hour drive there and back is worth every minute Makena spends there. The best part is that more than half the school is full of neighborhood kids and the other half is comprised of children that have some special needs that range from mild to severe. Bonus: any one of those needs can be addressed at the school, if they become an issue. But what makes this an even more enriching experience ultimately, for Makena, is that she isn't the only Asian child in an all-white school anymore. The children and staff she plays with three day a week are a rainbow of ethnicities. I think that on some level it makes her feel part of the group as opposed to an outsider.


She has now been there two months and we haven't had a single bitting episode. Yes, she has clobbered a couple of children, but she has also been clobbered! She hasn't once said that she didn't want to go to school. She looks me in the eye when I leave in the morning and she runs to hug me when I pick her up. Her vocabulary is flourishing and her speech is catching up, as well. And her teacher e-mails me a daily report and photographs of her at play. I couldn't ask for anything more. It took a while to get here but now that we are, this is the pie in the sky.

Now, all I have to do is figure out where Jack will be attending middle school next year. Hopefully, I can have two children schooled in the same city.

Isabelle

Thank you!

I want to send a big shout-out THANK YOU to my friends and to all the families in the Qianjiang adoption community who have rallied and are sending donations to Packages of Hope to help provide air conditioners for Makena's orphanage. We have almost reached our goal of being able to purchase five units. This effort will go a long way in helping these children stay warm.

I will post pictures when I receive them in a few weeks.

Thank you so much!

Isabelle

Please help

As you know, Makena spent her first months in the Qianjiang SWI which happens to be one of the poorest Social Welfare Institutes in Chongqing province. Every time I send a care package to the children of the orphanage, I am told to send bottles to feed the babies or socks to keep their feet warm. Yes, stimulating toys are great but, seriously, what the orphanage needs is milk to feed the children or cash to purchase it. Contrary to popular belief, quality of life does not begin with Fisher Price. Quality of life begins with food to feed a hungry child. From there you hope and pray for one-on-one attention, interaction and stimulation. Toys are a distant last on the priority list especially when you have to factor in the cost of keeping the children warm.


Recently, with the help of families from the Qianjiang adoption community and with the facilitation of the Packages of Hope charity, we were able to send enough formula and rice cereal to feed all the children there for the next few months. A small miracle which freed up some of the SWI Director's limited funds to purchase COAL to heat some of the rooms (but not all) in the orphanage.

Unfortunately, the children of Qianjiang barely have any heat to keep them warm There aren't enough nannies to keep them active so many babies are left to languish in their crib day in and day out.

Packages of Hope has begun a drive to purchase heaters (otherwise known in China as air conditioners) for the orphanage. They cost $600 a pop. The orphanage needs 5 so that al the children's rooms can be heated. No donation of money is too great or too small. I know times are difficult but if you could spare a few dollars and make a contribution, it would go a long way to helping us realize the goal of keeping these babies warm.


Makena was found in November and didn't move to a foster family until March. It just kills me to know how cold and alone she was those first few months that she was there, so if I can help a few babies stay warm, I will do what I can and I hope that you can too.

Please follow the link and make sure you let Packages of Hope know that your donation is meant for Heating for the Qianjiang orphanage. Every penny of your donation will go to the orphanage.

I would be very grateful.

Thank you.

Isabelle

Best Blog

My friend Barbara nominated Mak and Jack for "Best Blog". I'm not quite sure what this entails. Is there a ceremony? And, if so, do I need to get a manicure and get my hair done? I am very flattered that she enjoys reading about our family. We live at the intersection of chaos and dysfunction. I think you know where that is. In any event, this has motivated me to blog more regularly.

In the meantime, I need to pass the baton and nominate five blogs that I enjoy reading.

The first one is about Mia who was adopted on the same day as Makena. Barbara and Mike were part of our adoption group and were also our traveling companions on a short trip that Jack and I took to Beijing before we met Makena. Mia is incredibly precocious, cute and "runway mode"l tall She and her family live in Florida and Barbara is very good at keeping her blog current.

The second blog, Why Do These Kids Keep Calling Me Mom, is hilarious. I read it weekly and it is about a family in the Washington State area. Although I have never met them in person I appreciate the parallel universe we live in. They have two daughters (one of whom was adopted at the age of 8) from China and an older biological son who reminds me a lot of Jack. Their life is ripe with chaos, humor and adventure.

The third blog, Grrl Travels, is about another family who adopted two children from China after having a biological son. The daughter they adopted had some developmental issues in the beginning and has made amazing progress (her mom deserves an award). This blog has always been very straightforward, often dark and funny and generous as it presents the challenges of trying to help this little girl function while meeting the needs of the other children and staying happily married!

Fourth: A good blog about two sisters, Maddy and Gwen, who were both adopted from China within eleven months of each other. The girls are a month apart in age so they are twins for all intents and purposes. Their mom runs a tight ship and her blog is always insightful, full of advice, good doses reality and useful links.

The last official nod will go to the twins. They are a hoot and remind me of Makena times two so I don't know how their parents do it.

Runners up: Waiting for Sophie, the Rolls Royce of blogs with several hundred thousand readers.

Life in the Greene Family She doesn't update very often but when she does it is to announce that another child has been adopted into the family. At last count, she was raising 22. I think that the octuplet mom should turn to her for advice.

Enjoy visiting these blogs.

Thanks, Barbara.


Is-a-blogger