Happy Birthday Makena

I got up this morning and sleep-walked into Makena's room to give her a bottle. Several minutes had passed before my brain actually warmed up enough to function and I realized that my baby was a year old, today.

I sang a whispered "Happy Birthday" and held her close for a few seconds before she wriggled away to play with this Fisher Price monstrosity I bought her a couple of weeks ago to honor this day. It's big, has lots of gadgets and will spew out mind-numbing songs at the slightest touch and Makena LOVES it. It hasn't ceased to amaze or entertain her and I'm thrilled to be getting my money's worth -- even if I feel like bashing my head against the wall everytime I have to hear the "Itsy-bitsy Spider" song.

I watched her happily lost in the wonders of babyhood and couldn't stop myself from thinking about the other women who played a role in shaping my daughter's young life: The mother who gave birth to her and kept her for five days before casting her off to an uncertain future and, her foster mother, who spent five months keeping her healthy and well cared for before having to say good bye to her. I'd like to think that the women who cared for her in the orphanage will remember her but I'm not that naive. Would they remember what day this was?

How do you survive the loss of your mother not once but twice? How do you attach, detach, reattach or trust that sharing your heart will not be met by more abandonment? I don't know how Makena does it but I feel truly awed by her courage and resilience and joy of life. I hope that I can be as good a role model to you as you are to me. Happy birthday Makena, my fearless little leader.

To mark this day, I thought that a visit with an elephant would be appropriate and so did my girlfriend, who by sheer coincidence thought of the same thing and hired one for her son's birthday! It's funny how like minds think alike. This was a trunk show like no other. I especially like the part where my idea was free of "charge."




In the meantime, if you are as curious as I was to find out how to throw a pachiderm party check out: www.havetrunkwilltravel.com or click on the link in the title.

Pony rides are sooo passe.


Is - loving my daughter

Chop chop

I an so proud of Jack. He tested for, and received, his brown belt in Tang Su Do karate! The video is of Jack breaking a board with a side kick -- which he must do in order to pass. It is also noteworthy because it is the first footage I have been able to upload to my blog!




There are all kinds of moms out there, "soccer moms," "Little League moms," "Figure skating moms," etc.. I'm a "karate mom". Jack has been going twice and sometimes three times a week since he was four-years old and, to be honest, I never imagined I would be one of those moms who would rearrange her schedule and sit patiently in the sidelines while her child punched and kicked his way to Bruce Lee glory but I guess even I can surprise myself.

During that time, I've probably read a dozen novels and become quite proficient at Sudoku -- mostly to steer clear of the gossipers in the crowd. Don't get me wrong, I love gossip. I have a third degree black belt in gossip (which drives my husband crazy) but sometimes twenty women stuck together in a tight space can be a little intense. I feel like I'm back in high school reliving some kind of personal hell, over and over, and I don't need my karma to go there three times a week -- especially on a bad hair day, of which I seem to have many these days.

Enough about me, the whole point is that I really believe in the focus and discipline a good martial arts instructor can instill in children and I also believe that testing for a belt is good practice for keeping your cool while taking exams in school.

My eight-year old Jack is now officially three shades of "red belts" away from getting his first degree black belt, which means I'm four months away from making good on a promise that I would join him, and take classes with him, at the dojo when he got his first red belt (which is the level you have to be as a kid to take classes with an adult). I am stunned and I can't believe that day is almost here. I wish the uniforms were more flattering...and I wonder what breaking boards will do to my pedicure? Oh, that's right. I don't have time for that anymore. Never mind.

Now, who's going to watch Makena?

Is a karate mom

Let them eat cake

Makena had her first birthday party yesterday. It was an intimate gathering of about fifty friends and children. Yup, things got a wee bit out of hand the last few days leading up to the celebration when we realized that a lot of our friends still hadn't met her and that this fiesta was a good opportunity to have them come by and help us wipe the drool off her face.

We managed all this through word of mouth and a simple "save the date" e-mail I originally sent out to ten friends a week ago. One of whom called me in a panic because he hadn't received a paper invitation. I told him to print the e-mail if he needed to hold some tangible proof that this event was actually going to take place.

When my girlfriend and neighbor (the one who organized Makena's closets when she felt I wasn't doing it fast enough) realized that I really wasn't going to get around to even handwriting a store-bought invitation and sending it out, I think I really offended her "Inner Martha" to the point that she offered to make a dummy one so that I could have it to put in Makena's baby book. I'll get right on that. Right after I put my fourteen-year old wedding photos in order and Jack's eight-year old baby pictures together...And did I mention that I have two horses? Take a number, Mak.


In any event it was a blast and I am slightly shell-shocked -- which may or may not have to do with the shots of Tequila we toasted Makena to. But the best part of it all was that four of the families we traveled to China with came with their children and it was like having Makena's family around her, so that was really emotionally satisfying.


At one point, one of Jack's friends commented that there were "a lot of Chinese girls" at the party. He's a little slow but we really like him. Another friend marveled at how an American Jewish guy married a Canadian Catholic girl, that they adopted a Chinese daughter and served Mexican food at her birthday party. I think the Fairly Odd Parent bouncy I rented for the occasion pretty much summed it up. We are fairly odd parents.

And tired. How I ended up with two of Jack's friends having a sleep-over on a school night is beyond me. I handed over the air mattress from Makena's room so that they would have enough beds in Jack's room and wouldn't you know it, the party apparently didn't tire my daughter out one bit. She was up all night and I had nowhere to lie down. I ended up sleeping on the floor with her for part of the night and then another hour or so on the rocker with her sprawled across my chest and then I finally managed to slip her back into the crib and crawl back to the comfort of my bed (except my side was freezing cold) and then it was seven AM and I had to get up and make three boys breakfast, get them dressed and to school on time with a cranky baby on board and...let's just say I'm not a morning person.

Is a tired.

PS Photo # 1: The gold cat I drove all he way to downtown L.A. to purchase so that I could set it on her cake. # 2: The girls reunited (from left to right) Makena, Olivia, Charlotte and Emily. #3: Special on aisle 4! Makena helping me shop for food for her party.

Crazy

So I paraded Makena through my husband's office a few weeks ago and before I packed her into her car seat for the half-hour drive, I seriously reviewed her "presentation" outfit -- knowing full well that a "Mr. Somebody" who worked there would not let my fashion choices pass without comment. I wasn't in the office five minutes and he walked up to me, cooed appropriately over Makena, approved of her T-shirt -- but poopooed the pants. Then finally turned to me and gave me the once-over and told me how great it was that I was finally going to get to "lose" the baby weight!!! Of course, he said it right in front of my husband who guffawed with laughter (as did I). The best comeback I could think of on the spur of the moment was, "You bitch!" That man-diva stole my joke!

It's one thing to be self-deprecating and tell people that I'm finally going to lose the baby weight. It's another thing to hear it coming out of Mr. Fashion police's mouth! I told him right away that I was going to blog about this and then he told me that he would sue me. So I waited a couple of weeks 'cause I don't think he follows the blog anymore.

In any event, I have made some changes to my eating habits. I try very hard not to finish Makena's food because I got into trouble doing that when Jack was a baby. You'd be surprised how fast a chicken nugget here and there, a spoonful of maccaroni or half a bowl of congee can add up to on any given day. I'd much rather save the calories for my glass of Chardonnay. I mentioned this to a friend of mine who has more than two children and she laughed. She told me that Chardonnay doesn't cut it for her anymore and that she's graduated to single-serving Margharita bottles from Costco (they come 24 to a box, I believe) and that she sneaks one into the theater whenever she takes her kids to see a movie. She drinks it, chews red vines, and tries to stay sane... Crazy.

In the meantime, my husband expressed mild concern that I haven't done a single thing to prepare for Makena's first birthday on October 28. I was stunned. Of course, he was right. And so this week I've been scrambling to pick a date. I was going to do it on the 28th but one of my close friends asked me not to because she's celebrating her son's fourth birthday on that date (his birthday was in September) and she's hired an elephant to be the entertainment for the party. And we're not talking unemployed actor making an extra buck by wearing a mangy suit, here, we're talking full blown, full grown, pachiderm! Okay, who can compete with that?

Whatever the case, I've decided on doing it on the 22nd. I was going to do it on the 21st - which coincided with the fifteenth anniversary of my mom's passing -- as a way of including her "spiritually" on this occasion, but two friends of ours beat me to the punch. One, with a mega blow-out haunted-Halloween-kid-party in the afternoon and the other, with a fiftieth birthday bash celebration at night. Crazy.

Now, I've tried to send an evite with Mak's picture on it, but the file was too large and wouldn't upload, so I'm going to resort to an e-mail, the way I did with Jack after I came back from Guatemala. And the theme will be "Mexican" because it's a good excuse to go to Costco and check out that case of Margharitas my girlfriend's so fond of. And besides, everyone knows that a baby's first birthday isn't about the baby, but about the parents -- or more particularly, me.

That's it. I've got a birthday to plan.


Is-a-crazy

PS My new joke when someone congratulates me about Makena is: "I love it, no stretch marks!" (At least, no new ones.)

PPS I just realized I'm friends with someone who is turning fifty.

PPPS Jack is fine, except he's bummed the Dodgers didn't win the Playoffs.

Bling

I knew my daughter loved jewelry but I didn't know to what extent until a few days ago when she was crying around four o'clock in the morning. I went into her room to check on her, thinking she probably wanted a bottle -- but the smell told me otherwise. So I picked her up and sort of sleep-walked through a change of diaper until something "sparkly" caught my eye. I thought I was seeing things 'cause that was some shiny s#*t!

I quickly replaid the list of foods that we had fed Makena the day before and "turquoise rhinestone the size of my finger nail" (and I'm not talking "pinky") wasn't on it. I was stunned by its size and surprised by how shiny it still was -- not to mention relieved that she hadn't choked swallowing it. I have to admit that "choking" was last in the order of my thought process.

This being a house of boys until a month ago, I can testify to the fact that we don't yet have a collection of sparkly stuff you can paste on art projects or jewelry beads. She must of stomached it on a visit to my neighbour's house when she was playing with the girls. Ugh.

Makena puts absolutely anything and everything in her mouth. In the six weeks we've had her the most noteworthy things I have pulled out of her mouth (other than dog hair) are: a splinter the size of a tooth pick that she fingered out of the track in our sliders, a scrabble tile and a rolly polly insect -- that I chalk up to her need for protein.

She reminds me of Sunny in the Lemony Snickets books.

Also, her first official word (other than "mama") is "Tiger". When she says it, it sounds like "Tay Ga" but there is no question as to whose attention she is trying to get when she says it.

Last, I'll be careful not to mention Jack's needs and wants anymore. One of my husband's clients bought him a PS2 and "Dance, Dance Fever" as a present. I couldn't believe it. Of course, Jack was over the moon with this gift (we all know how much he loves to dance) and I was the mean mom for having hesitated to even give it to him -- because it was completely over the top. I was hoping to wait until Christmas or Hanukkah but I lost the battle since I wasn't the gift "giver". We now have disco thumping through the house. Yeah!

Disco and Rhinestones -- it all seems meant to be.

Is a bling.