8 is enough!

Jack turned 8 last Friday and I had a major epiphany in the party planning sector. Why? Because I guiltily did virtually nothing and somehow managed to pull it off. Let me preface this by saying that I have usually anticipated his birthday well over a month in advance. I've prided myself on coming up with cleverly themed invitations that I personally hand-crafted and I have spent countless hours imagining ways to make his day more special and original.

Does Jack care about the bloody paper cuts I have endured in the past or the time I have spent making the layout imperfect in a perfect way? No. Neither does my husband (who has had yearly "birthday planning" interventions with me to make me change my ways) and neither have the hoards of kids showing up for the distraction and the cake. I suspect they don't even care about the party favors. Ingrates.

So who did I do this for? Jack or me? Shut up. I know you know the answer. That's not the point.

I came into motherhood with serious birthday issues related to past perceived injustices that I meant to set straight with my son. All this to realize that what Jack only cares about is having a present to open, preferably electronic or alive (anything in the reptile, amphibian or arachnid family will do) and that he wants to be surrounded by his close friends -- or better yet, his Canadian cousins, eating junk food he loves, being entertained (as in, not bored) and being the go-to-special kid for 24 hours to 72 hours (because he knows how to milk the occasion.)

So back to my turning point, I left the country with Jack on a special mommy-and-me trip to Guatemala the day school was out. My husband saw it as another sort of intervention: to get me away from Chinese adoption blog sites and clear my head( I'll blog about Guatemala next). Anyway, I was so busy trying to stay alive in Central America that I came back sick and followed that up with another week recovering. Before I knew it, Jack's birthday was upon me and no time or serious thought had been spent planning it. Why? Because of Makena. The referral we were almost eight months anticipating finally arrived while I was in the jungle and the news that we had finally been matched with our daughter hit me like a two-by-four across the head. I was stunned and, I admit it, I stopped thinking about my elder son's birthday for a couple of weeks... Is this what life has in store for me now that I am a parent with more than one child?

I felt bad when Jack asked to see the invitation. When none was forthcoming, he asked to see the e-vite. What he ended up settling for was confirmation that I had sent a regular e-mail to his guest list and that I had followed that up with calls confirming that his friends were coming. Miracle of Miracles, six of his friends were still in town and could attend (A far cry from the 25 + invitees of years past).


All it took was a couple of boogie boards on a public beach with a thousand people (greasy with Banana Boat lotion), two free parking spots, some sunshine, some waves and a cooler full of store-bought sushi. That's it. I did follow it up with a melted ice-cream cake and sleep-over and Jack was thrilled. He had a blast. Nobody drowned and they all had fun in a Lord of the Flies kind of way. My house is trashed. I did get a post-party massage and I need to see a chiropractor - which may have something to do with the fact that I joined the little Neanderthals in the bouncy pit.

Now that the festivities are over and I look to our future with Makena, my thoughts will inevitably be drawn to her first birthday in October. Is the 28th really the date she was born? Or should the day she joined our family be celebrated with more fanfare? Is she truly eight months old (now)? Will her biological mom remember her smell or the blue grey of her newborn eyes, or the curve of her upper lips? What kind of birthday would Makena have had were she still living in China? And does it really matter as long as Makena knows that she is loved and wanted?

Just wondering...

Isabelle