This is Jack's favorite picture of his sister. I suspect he likes it because she is wearing pink and because he associates that color with all things "girl." I am T - 4 days and I'm feeling weepy. I'm sad for my little Qian Li Han because by now, her foster mother has probably had to say goodbye to her forever. She has been returned to the QianJiang Social Welfare Institute, the orphanage that took her in when she was five days old. Now, alone among a sea of strange babies and strange faces, Li Han is probably spending a great part of her day anonymously in a metal crib. She doesn't understand why things aren't the same anymore and she's confused and probably scared and all she wants to see is a familiar face that will comfort her and reassure her and tell her that things will be all right, if she can just bare it for a few more weeks. And I'm sad because I also know that, even though I can dream her face clearly when I sleep, I too will be a stranger when she first lays eyes on me. I will be the one desperately reaching out to hold her, not her. I also know that it will be a long time before I can bring a measure of comfort and peace to her when she sees me.
I can't wait to hold her and love her and count the days until she reaches her arms out to me.
Is-a-mess.
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