Love

Jack's first reaction to the news we were adopting last year was "But I want a brother!" Then, after he thought about it for a while, he said that his Chinese sister wasn't going to look like us. Which is obviously true. I told him that it was okay and that there were all kinds of families comprised of different individuals and that none of them necessarily looked the same. I also reminded him that he had lots of friends who were Asian and that seemed to satisfy him. He then became concerned that we were going to pay too much attention to Makena and not enough to him. I told him not to worry because we were going to buy him a television for his new room! That worked...for about a minute. He saw right through me. He knew I was joking but now he still wants the TV.

Jack has always been able to voice his needs, feelings and concerns. I'm constantly amazed and know that he doesn't get that from my side of the family. That definitely comes from his dad's side. But the one question that comes up periodically and did so again a couple of days ago was, "Are you going to love Makena more than me?" "Of course not," I tried to tell him and keep telling him but it doesn't compute. He keeps comparing his new sister to the new toy you play with and like more at the expense of the other, older, toys. Of course he would see it that way. He's eight years old and his reign as the only child is coming to an end. He is going to have to share me.

He keeps asking,"How can I possibly still love him as much?" It's sad and sweet and heartbreaking to see him work through this insecurity and I completely understand it and love him even more for it. I feel really lucky that he has a pulse on his emotions and that he can voice them and that we can have a conversation about it and work through it.

I tell him there is enough room in my heart to love him, his dad and Makena and that when you add another member to your family, it doesn't squeeze out the love you have for the other two. Love just expands like a balloon. He hasn't yet asked me, "What if the balloon pops?". I don't have an answer for that.

Now I wish I could speak "dog" because ,Tiger, our rescue-pooch is a mess and I'm hard-pressed to explain that he has a good reason to be!

Isabelle