Fried in France

This is why I am insane and why I should be committed. I never stop to think about what the consequences of traveling with a toddler on transcontinental flights are I just pull the trigger and shoot. Obviously, I seem to recover long enough from these antics to think up another one. The latest, going to Pau in France to visit my mother's grave. Since there was no question of leaving Makena with EM and Jack for ten days, I had to take her.

We traveled on a non-stop direct (10 hour) night flight to Paris. Makena woke up two hours into it and decided it would be a good time to scream with pure glee. I pulled out the Barney disc and DVD and pushed, play. That lasted half-an hour. My eyes were burning from the lack of sleep and my nerves were on edge because she was keeping half the plane awake. It wasn't until the Danish-Swedish-Slavic (very blond) woman in the row in front of me stood up in her seat and turned around to yell at Makena, that I lost it. I told her to back off, that I was handling it and that if she uttered another work in Mak's direction, I would do NOTHING to stop her. I told her to sit down and started feeding Makena bonbons. That worked.

The stroller I gate-checked in Los Angeles was not there for me when we landed in Paris. I had two pieces of carry-on, a pillow and Makena to get off the plane and onto a shuttle to get us to the terminal and go through customs and then on a tram to another terminal and then run a kilometer or two to get to the next gate and through security again to get to the domestic wing of Charles De Gaule. I made it, bought myself an over-priced Evian and boarded the subsequent flight. I won't mention my lack of deodorant, my sweaty clothes or the layer of sticky dirt smeared across Makena's face. But since this was France, nobody noticed.

An hour and a half later, we landed in Pau. I had trouble getting my luggage because Makena kept running away from me and trying to jump on the conveyor belt. The French were aghast. Nevertheless, I persevered and my cousin was there to greet me and take me to our hotel. Makena fell asleep on the way. I laid her down on the bed, had a beer, fell asleep and woke up at 3 in the morning when Makena was done with her "nap" and then decided it would be appropriate to stay awake until 6AM. We miraculously fell back asleep until I was woken up at noon and told that I was late for lunch.So I crawled out of bed, showered and called a cab. We finally arrived at my mother's cousin's house where we were greeted by Papi (who had made the trip up from Grenada, Spain,) Mimes, my mom's best friend and cousin, and a lovely glass of Port. "Appero," as they like to call it. I drank it. The rest is a blur.

Is a - jet lagged