Umbilical cords

My husband gave me this bracelet back in December, 2005. I think a client had given it to him and he re-gifted it to me (he's generous that way.) He's not a jewelry man. In fact, I think he stated as much on our second date, sixteen (gulp) years ago.

So I dutifully put it on and thanked hubby for not wanting to wear it himself. Pretty soon afterward, I decided that I would wear it until the day I held Makena in my arms. I don't think she was 100% Makena at the time. Tavis and Josephine were potential names. Josephine, after both my grandmothers and Tavis, because my husband thought the girl on Survivor was "hot." I would treat this bracelet as a symbolic umbilical cord, certain that the moment I cut it would happen sometime in February...And then April, May and June...

Back on Valentine's Day, 2005, my husband told me that he was ready to adopt and that I should go ahead and start the wheels in motion. I was ridiculously happy. It was the best gift and a dream come true and as a big thank you, I gave up naming rights to our daughter so that I could keep him vested in the adoption process. I did have one veto that I could use if I had to, and thankfully not.

There's a beach on Maui called Makena Beach and we spent some time there a few years ago (right after 9/11) thinking we were witnessing a real slice of paradise. So the name "Makena" always stuck in our minds. When we found out that Makena meant "gift" in Hawaiian, that pretty much sealed it because our Chinese daughter, Qian Li Han, is a gift.

I think I've done a pretty good job of keeping it clean. I've had a few highbrow occasions to attend and I never once thought of stretching it wide so that I could remove it. Now that I'm two weeks away from cutting it off, it's adding to my mess of emotions. I'm really glad I decided to use this Nantucket rope bracelet as the link to Makena. Jack was born by c-section. I had a sheet that shielded me from seeing him come out of my stomach and I never saw his umbilical cord cut. A clean, swaddled, baby was presented to me.

Becoming Makena's family will be different but just as intimate and special. At least, I hope so.

Isabelle